At the moment Professor Kelvin Harris in away at an international conference, so for this week’s ‘Cost of a Coffee’ we asked him to pre-record something that we could use in his absence. Sadly, this is what we were greeted with when we opened the files he sent us:
“Hello my name is Brian and I work for Professor Kelvin Harris. I mostly put the little bottles in the round thing on top of that machine and press the green button, but this week the Professor is away at a conference, so I’m going to play with his phone. He only lets me play the free games, so this feature is called ‘Cost of a Tap Water’.
Today’s game for nowt is Tekken Bowl on iPads and iPhones, which is a free-to-play bowling game based on Tekken which is a bit like Street Fighter in a business suit. Apparently this was originally a minigame from the game of Tekken, but I was never allowed to play computer games when I was little as my Mum said they were ‘of the devil’. The game is good because unlike actual bowling, you are unlikely to injure your elbow unless you get frustrated with the ‘tap to select speed and accuracy’ game mechanic, and hurl your phone at the wall.
You can play as all your favourite characters, as long as you only like Panda, Jin and X I U… the girl whose name begins with an X. Luckily I like Panda. There are three game modes, single player which is bowling all by your own self like I imagine professionals would to get better at it. Multiplayer is pass and play on the phone or tablet, which is great if you have friends who want to play with you, or if like me you don’t’, but want to imagine that Jin and the girl whose name begins with an X are going on a date. There is also a Puzzle mode where you must control the speed and direction of the ball to perform tricks and knock down specially placed pins. It’s a bit like John Virgo’s Trick Shot but without that bloke from Celebrity Big Brother.
Like my reading ability, the game is very basic. That doesn’t mean it’s not good though. It is the ideal thing for those short moments when you are waiting for a bus and the bus turns up, but it’s the wrong bus and you have to wait a bit longer. You don’t have to be a fan of Tekken either to enjoy this game, though it might help if you enjoy bowling. Is it worth the ‘Cost of a Tap Water’? Yes. Oh and there’s no micro-transactions, so I can’t get in trouble with the Professor again like that time I bought £5000 worth of virtual pick and mix.
Cost of a Tap Water is a tribute to ‘Cost of a Coffee’, which is a Codec Moments production. No matter what their lawyer says, I’m not copying it or ‘owt. You can contact them with suggestions for Cost of a Coffee on Twitter @codecmoments, or on Facebook at facebook.com/codecmoments, or by e-mailing email@example.com. I don’t know how many fs are in Prof.”