Conan Chop Chop

Conan Chop Chop

Slicin' & dicin'.

conan chop chop

We have all been there having a good laugh with mates until we tell a joke that goes just too far, and that’s what happened to Funcom who announced Conan Chop Chop on April 1st, which was very clearly an April Fool’s joke.  But a couple of months later the joke backfired and was on us all as Funcom announced that it’s actually a real game on the way, and that was all back in 2019.  Well, it’s 2022 now and Conan Chop Chop has finally been released, after being hit with more than a few delays across its development.  But is it going to be a hit or just a laughing stock?

If you have ever thought what would happen if Castle Crashers, Dark Souls and Hades got in a drunken fight one night down at the pub, Conan Chop Chop would be what came out the other side once the dust settled.  You and three mates are challenged with entering the Wrath-a-Thon, a fiendish challenge created by the evil sorcerer and long-time Conan bad guy Thoth-Amon, and is ultimately a fancy trap for the heroes of Hyboria.  So you’ll crush, kill and maim your enemies, hunting down their dark lord leaders with an ever growing arsenal of weapons, as you and your friends take on the forces of evil.  But you’ll also get to upgrade your village, your skills and most importantly upgrade yourself with each run you undertake, as there is a wicked roguelike heart at its core.

This means you’re going to run and run and you guessed it… run it again, but with each undertaking you’ll get that bit stronger thanks to banking permanent unlock stones called “Steelfire” as well as your overall XP.  This sees you levelling up after each failed run, but as you do you’ll earn an unlock point to spend on a permanent unlock skill for your hero, as there is a skill tree for each of the four heroes.  A HUGE aspect to the game is the co-op side, which you can play with your mates on the couch or online and it instantly ups the fun factor no end.  The game can get a little grindy if you’re running it as a lone wolf, as you will have to re-run a lot of the earlier stages before you are strong enough to move forward.  That disappears when added mates to the mix.

Visually the game has an almost childlike drawing style, which also adds a real charm to it that will have you smiling as you explore the world.  Conan Chop Chop may hit you as a simple game about bashing bad guys, but there is real hidden depth to combat and a high skill ceiling.  If you’re looking for a laugh with a few mates or a break from Elden Ring, it’s well worth checking out.

An Xbox review copy of Conan Chop Chop was provided by Funcom’s PR team, and the game is out now on Xbox, PlayStation, Switch and PC for around £15 depending on platform.

The Verdict


The Good: Highly polished | Great with mates | CROM

The Bad: A bit grindy in solo | Maybe a bit too challenging at times

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Stuart Cullen

Scotland’s very own thorn in the side of the London gaming scene bringing all the hottest action straight from The Sun… well… The Scottish Sun at least, every week!

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