10 Worst… Tech Names

This week sees the start of a new weekly feature called 10 Worst; each week we’ll take a topic and come up with the 10 worst examples we can think of or find.  Feel free to add send us your thoughts via Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or email on the topic of the week, and if we decide your entry is worthy of the top 10 we will come up with something to send you.

10 Worst Tech Names

To kick off we’ve looked at the 10 worst tech names, these are the names that giants such as Apple and Sony give to their latest and greatest products and spend millions to come up with  them.  Well, we think they’re a bit gash sometimes, and here’s what we’ve come up with:

 

10. HTC – M8

I am sure someone in a meeting thought this would be a good idea.  M8 = mate, it’s cool, it’s now, it’s txt speak – genius!  Maybe for those under the age of 16 yes, but for those of us who have our jeans not sagging below our arses it’s not.  AFAIK.

HTC M8

9. Nintendo – Wii

OK it’s not spelt ‘wee’ but it might as well be, the joke’s on us as they sold by the bucket load.  Personally I would have called the Wii U the Wii Poo, then it may have sold a bit better.

Nintendo Wii

8. Apple – iPad

Now no one bats an eyelid about the name of the grandad of all tablets, but back when it was announced it was met with a few raised eyebrows.  Whist Apple fanboys rejoiced others wondered if Apple had moved into feminine hygiene products…

Apple iPad

7. TrekStor – i.Beat Blaxx

You work it out!

TrekStore iBeat Blaxx

6. Anything by Huawei

Because if you can pronounce Huawei it sounds like you’re loosing your lunch, and if you can’t say it you sound like you’re having a stroke.

Huawei

5.  House of Marley – Redemption Song

No it’s not the latest track from a new band, it’s actually a pair of headphones.  You can listen to artists other than Bob Marley but they will catch fire… I made that last bit up.

House of Marley – Redemption Song

4. Fujitsu – Lifebook Range

It’s a laptop, not a great one and it certainly isn’t life defining, or life holding come to that.

Fujitsu – Lifebook Range

3. Zoostorm Desktop PC

Sounds like a bad day out with the family rather than an entry level personal computer.

Zoostorm

2. Sumvision – Cyclone Explorer

No?  Me neither, its actually an entry level tablet made to sound like a Greenpeace ship.  It’s not a great performer, and even worse at stopping whaling.

Sumvision Cyclone Explorer

1. Asus – MeMo Pad

What is it with tablets?  I know everyone is making them, but having a rubbish name by capitalising in the wrong place isn’t likely to win you any awards.  Pity, as its not a bad tab for the money.

Asus MeMo Pad

So there we have it, a list dominated by tablets it would seem.  Some names are just plain wrong others just don’t really fit the product (by a long way).  Have you come across any tech items with ridiculous names?  Let us know!  And as much as we wanted to put “Boomsound” in here, it just wasn’t bad enough…

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Graham

30 something grumpy father of 3 small annoying children, lover of fast cars, motorbikes, gaming and all things technological. I also own a ZX Spectrum 128k

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6 Comments

  1. Seb April 10, 2014 12:50 am  Reply

    I enjoyed this list, though with regards to the HTC M8, it’s being marketed as the HTC one, with the M standing for metal and 8 representing their 8th generation metal phone (I think!). I do know the last HTC one is referred to as the ‘HTC One (M7)’ anyway. I don’t think the ‘mate’ reference was intentional. Back to the list, I’m surprised there weren’t more products with X’s for EXTREME, though the ‘I.Beat Blaxx’ is awful on several layers more. Who thought it’d be a good idea to sound like you are an awful violent racist?!

    • Matt April 10, 2014 7:13 am  Reply

      You really have to wonder how that didn’t get picked up in a company that’s released several iterations of the product, and provides varied tech to the masses. Hope their marketing team were sacked after that debacle!

    • Andy April 10, 2014 11:14 am  Reply

      As Cev pointed out last week when we discussed this article, SEGA had the Master System… arian overtones anybody?

  2. Graham April 10, 2014 10:04 am  Reply

    Seb you are right on the HTC One, although if you do read the M8 as ‘mate’ it sounds even worse as it becomes the ‘One Mate’ – how sad. There were many bad examples of ‘X’ Treme names – whats your worst?

    • Seb April 10, 2014 11:29 am  Reply

      *Shudders*, yeah I’m not going to be able to unsee it now. I’m really struggling to think of a modern example, though anything by Razer comes to mind. Actually yeah, this list could be dominated by Razer products, with their Razer Deathstalker Ultimate… keyboard. Or their Razer Blackwidow Ultimate Stealth… keyboard. Not making these up.

      • Matt April 11, 2014 7:57 am  Reply

        They’re great! Love it when the most mundane of products have exotic or tough names.

Agree or disagree? Let us know!